(Transcript of an opening talk I give in my workshops that introduce how to control your Mind, Mood and Thoughts)
So my out of state friend occasionally works for this big rock musician from the 90s that I was a big fan of.
He was in town and asked me to take him to his studio to pick up payment and I could meet him.
I was very excited. He’d been working for him for years and we always talked about me meeting him but the timing was always off.
So we get there and I went to grab a bottle of water in my car and he said he’s going to go in real quick and then come get me.
After 10 minutes I realized it wasn’t quick. So I waited.
After 30 minutes and a few text messages I realized he wasn’t coming back for me.
He used me as a chauffeur and left me hanging because he probably didn’t have the guts to now ask if he could bring me in. Which is why I wanted to go in with him like originally planned.
An hour passes and Im just sitting in the car.
Now Im mad. I feel used. Slided. And dissrepected.
I realize he didn’t value our friendship like I did.
I would never think of doing something so selfish and rude to him or any of my friends.
How is he my friend I thought!?
In that moment I thought about cutting off our friendship.
He’s not a good friend to me.
Why do I tolerate this?!
How many of you can relate to this? Having a friend that you feel takes.
Where you’re the only one giving?
You can relate, can’t you?
You probably have friends, family members or coworkers that are not as kind, generous, considerate as you.
They just want to talk about themselves, their problems and they’re never for you.
Raise your hand if you can relate?
You have friends who you would walk through fire for but they wouldn’t throw you a bone when your hungry.
It happens, right?
Yes. And you obviously heard people saying to cut out toxic relationships from your life.
But that’s true but you need to first really qualify them as truly toxic.
Remember people have their own map of the world (NLP). People are doing the best they can with what they have and know.
In my world it’s easy for me to ask someone, anyone, a rocker a millionaire, anyone, if I can bring in my friend.
Im confident. Assertive.
But not everyone is me. That’s where compassion comes in.
To truly understand people, your people, friends, family co-workers, enemies, whoever, you need to put yourself in their place. In their mind. With their strengths, weaknesses, limiting thoughts, fears phobias. Everything.
Do things that come easy for you come as easily for them?
You’re really sweet to people at the office but one lady or guy who is a jerk.
You know who I’m talking about, right?
But if you look closer you get a clearer picture. And often we don’t because we want to see what we want to see, and be right about our beliefs.
I once knew a lady who was the meanest person. Everyone on this project was fun, friendly and had a team spirit.
But she was the one causing problems, disagreeing about everything. Rude. Mean.
Everyone else wrote her off. She’s a witch. Screw her. Forget about her.
Then I decided to look closer.
I decided to sit with her during some downtime and get to know her. She actually opened up (because nobody else made that attempt).
Turns out her husband was dying of cancer.
When she used to go home she could snuggle up next to her loving husband but now she has to visit him in the hospital and caress the nearly lifeless husk of who her husband was.
Now I understood why she was the way she way.
Im not saying this excuses their behavior, Im saying take a moment to look and learn about peoples life. Because what you find will give you a much clearer picture, and perhaps your knee jerk judgement doesn’t fit anymore.
But you’re saying if I was in the same position I would do better. I would act better.
And you probably would because I am going to teach you the skills to radically Empower your life.
But not everyone is you!
Everyone grows, matures and finds themselves at different times in their life.
Some quicker than others.
Sadly, some never do in this lifetime.
So we need love, compassion and understanding to meet people where they are, not where we want them to be.
That’s true compassion.
Going back to my friend.
I’m stewing. I’m angry. But I know all these skills, so I Decide to use them.
Theres’ that word again, decide.
Everything in life is a decision. Choice. Never forget that.
So thinking about my friend and thinking about how is he is, now in relation to this situation, I realize he’s shy, quiet, timid. He has a hard time asking for what he wants in life, in business. He gets taken advantage of by most of his friends, his boss, his co-workers. Women. It’s unfortunate.
If he doesn’t ask for life’s good for himself how can I expect him to ask for me. Right?
But I was still angry. I had all these angry thoughts.
You guys ever been angry? Like really angry.
You need to get these out.
Everything you’re going to learn will teach you complete life mastery but let me tell you the bad news.
You will not be able to control yourself from feeling bad. Never!!
So don’t expect that.
But you will learn how to recognize when you’re feeling something you don’t want to and interrupt it. Then shift.
In the case of being angry you just need to let it out.
Being angry at something is like drinking poison and expecting them to die.
So get your anger out!
But not by breaking lamps and punching holes in the wall. But get these angry thoughts out of your mind and out of your being.
Abraham Lincoln was famous for writing angry letters… but never sending them.
After his death they found a multitude of angry letters he wrote but never sent.
After the angry letter he would then put it away and write a constructive letter.
Because he knew being combative only leads to more combativeness.
If you are attacked you will be defend, regardless of the merit of the other persons argument.
Fight leads to fight.
So stop fighting! Because even if you win you still lose.
You just won at making the other person look bad.
So I took a page from Abe and I wrote my friend this angry, scathing text.
“I can’t believe I drove two hours and you left me in the car like yesterdays lunch.”
“You’re a terrible friend. F* you.” The whole nine yards.
I got it all out. It was brutal. But then… I deleted it.
Yes. Then suddenly all that anger was gone.
I got it out.
Now I could think straight.
I was tired and I needed to use the restroom.
I could have stayed there until he was done and used my growing discomfort to throw in his face.
You guys ever do that. Someone wrongs you and you make it worse just you could make them feel even worse?
Stop being dramatic. And stop being a victim!
Put your energy towards healthy feelings and away from victimhood and making people feel bad.
Use that energy towards love and you will see love return.
So I decided to walk to Starbucks.
It was a long walk but I wanted to leave my car so my friend didn’t think I ditched him.
I put on my headphones, listened to some good tunes and set off.
Walking outside is the #1 Anti Depressant.
If you are depressed, overweight, or depressed because you are overweight. Then WALK.
Walking outside is scientifically proven to clear the mind and promote feelings of calm and joy.
Looking at far distances brings your conscious outside of near field of vision and pulls you out of your head.
It takes you back to life and mother nature.
Plus is oxygenates the body and the body needs and likes oxygen and simply being the sun is healthy for your skin and mind.
You were not designed to be in front of computer or TV all day.
Sorry Big Pharma, you can’t sell this.
See, I just saved you thousands of dollars on antidepressants.
So I took off. Got my coffee. The barista even smiled and me and I caught her checking me out as I left. So I’m now I’m feeling good.
Good stuff happens when you leave the house!
Then I’m walking back. I decide now that I am clear minded but feeling neither good nor bad.
So I get to DECIDE how I want to feel.
I want to feel great. Enthusiastic. Happy. Joyful.
And with what I know and what I’m going to teach you, you will be Master State Control. You will be able to feel Amazing whenever you want.
So I decide to revisit my vision.
Your vision is EVERYTHING. All your wants. For yourself, your life, your family, your contribution to this world, your legacy.
Your vision is your reason for living. What gets you up in the morning whistling at the prospect of a new day.
I was thinking about being here with you, before it happened.
Being a Source for Inspiration, Change, Transformation in the world.
That got me going.
Then I’m thinking about what I want out of the day, the week.
Always be looking forward because the past is done.
The future is yours. You have complete control over it.
That’s where your energy and attention has to be.
So now Im feeling good.
If I let myself go down the path of feeling bad I would end up having a bad day.
There are no bad days. Just bad reactions to external neutral events.
You know people who just seem to be miserable and unhappy all the time?
They’ve decided to be that way. When good things happen they chalk it up to a fluke and wait for that bad thing.
That bad thing they know is going to happen.
Our highest desire is to be right, as Eckhart Tolle says in his books New Earth and Power of Now.
Whether right about life being good or life being bad.
Once we’ve made a decision, consciously or unconsciously, we send a command to our subconscious to begin collecting evidence to make it true.
Like Napoleon Hill said. Whatever the mind of man can conceive of bring itself to believe, it achives.
If I were in a bad mood I would create more bad.
Like attracts like.
Never forget that.
Being in that state I could have been hit by a car, mugged or something.
Controlling your State is paramount to fulfilling your vision and living an Empowered life.
Now, inversely, do you guys know people who always seem to be happy all the time.
Johnny or Joanna Go-Luckies who are always so cheery and chipper.
Maybe you hate them, right?
It’s not because every time they go outside butterflies land on their head, the rain suddenly stops and the road is magically lined with gold.
They suffer loss, pain, turmoil, frustration, get stuck in traffic, have to pay taxes and everything else yucky in life just like the rest of us.
They just made a Choice to be happy despite whats happening.
Choice. That word again.
Life is Life. Its a mixed bag. And just because you don’t get a kit Kat doesn’t mean you can’t be grateful and happy with your candy corn.
Candy corn is disgusting though, isn’t it?
Who eats that!?
I digress. You get to control your state. How you feel. Most importantly, how you react.
So now I’m imaging my vision. Getting really excited. Ive increased my vibrational energy. Smile on my face. Forgave my friend. Feeling on top of the world.
Remember, you can only fulfill your vision when you’re in a positive state.
That creates possibility and gives you the ability to make the best choice when opportunity arrives. And it will!
So I get back to the studio 30 minutes after this Rocker was to have left.
My friend is outside and was eagerly waiting for me. He quickly ushered me into the studio.
The Rocker knew I wanted to meet him.
And so HE waited for ME.
He pushed back his recording session, for ME.
Pretty remarkable, right?
And I met him. It was lovely. We took a picture and now I got to check off another goal.
Everything worked out because I didn’t let external events or my lower emotions control me.
I interrupted my mind and bodies natural reaction to something I perceived as bad and instead Choose to go up instead of swirling down.
I didn’t lose or berate a friend because of feelings of anger, which are temporary anyway.
I didn’t say things I would later regret.
And I didn’t let the saying “bad things always happen to me” be my story.
I felt good and happy and whether I would have met him or not, it no longer mattered.
Positive Mood creates Positive Results.
You too will learn and Master this.
Now are you Ready to Master your Mind, Emotions and Life?
Good! Let’s begin..